Vision and Foresight: Trusting the Strength of Others

Several months ago, I was saddened and concerned to learn of the death of one of the residents at my workplace.  My sadness came from losing a well-liked member of our resident family, while my concern arose from the fact that his visually impaired wife would no longer have the partner she had depended on so heavily for her everyday needs.  I wondered how this resident was going to get by when she was unable to see and was so accustomed to having her husband's assistance.  As the Resident Service Coordinator at the building, I also wondered if there would be ways for me to help her.  Despite the fact that she apparently would receive some assistance from her family, I assumed she would not be able to remain in our building.  To my limited vision, the road ahead just seemed too daunting for her.

A short time after her husband's death, I saw this resident in our Community Room with another visually impaired resident and her friend.  They were guiding her so that she could get around in the building, just as her husband had done.  She was attending events at the building with these residents and despite the fact that it was an emotionally difficult time for her, she seemed cheerful and ready to make the most of her new circumstances.  She was not confined to her apartment, as I had feared, but was staying active and seemed eager to be with other people.  I was very encouraged--and also happily surprised--by how well she was responding to her new situation.


This resident, and the residents who have helped her, made me realize that sometimes I am rather short-sighted when it comes to the strength of the people I serve.  I saw the limitations of a difficult situation, but I did not foresee the courage or resilience with which this woman faced the loss of her spouse, especially one upon whom she depended so heavily.  Then, too, I forgot the compassion and thoughtfulness that our residents have displayed toward others in various difficult situations, whether it be by taking food to those who are ill, offering transportation, or just being there for emotional support.  It was a humbling and necessary reminder that although I am there to help, I do not have to solve every problem or even coordinate the resources that are needed in every situation.  Sometimes the greatest resources--other people--are right there in front of us.  Moreover, they are sometimes able to respond more effectively than we can as caring professionals.  May those of us who are caregivers remember that we do not have to do it all, and that we can call on the strength and compassion of others in difficult times!